I think I am going to end up all alone. Not without a life partner but without a friend. I have always had the tendency to not name a single friend to be my “best”. Like I have seen people declaring people they have met only some months ago their “best friends” their “soul sisters” and I have always found it weird. I have never done that even with friends who I know since a few years. I have always found the term best to be really exclusive and I have always known that I have never shared enough with someone to call them my best.
I have believed that I have not yet met the right people. The people who I can converse with about the things I like, the things i dont and expect them to atleast know what the hell I am talking about. I have not yet found those people who I share the same interests with and up till now I had always expected them to find them later in my life. I have always had hope.
But I have been a little low lately. Mostly because of the fact that not only just the “best” ones, I dont have ANY friends left altogether. Earlier in school I was always the one with A LOT of friends. Maybe because life wasnt that stretched out back then and every thing wasnt meant to be taken that seriously. There were no judgements about one another and what the other person did with their life was none of my business. Lately I have developed this tendency to find faults in people and mentally distancing myself from them.
Which has led me to alienating myself from the only friends that I had left. I am 23 and without a friend so I might just end up all alone. I am kind of too sure of that.